Love is all what matters.... That was my mindset few years ago when I felt that he was the one. It was love at first sight...I never believed in it....until it happened to me. And yes... life turned out to be just perfect ever since I met him. But, there was this one thing that had disrupted our way, our professional lives. The fact that I am his senior had caused a few problems at the initial stages of our relationships. However, love and understanding is what matters after all. So we decided to get married. My parents did not agree at all, but I convinced them by telling them that I would never marry if not him. My best friend did not like him either, she said that I deserve someone better. But, from my lens he was the perfect man for me. We had been in the relationship for two years and I thought that it was more than enough to get to know a person.
Everything happened well and we were so happy until I started witnessing changes in the way he treated me. We started fighting almost everyday and all of them ended with our professional lives and my work colleagues getting involved. He began suspecting me every time I smiled or talked with another man. It was only verbal fights at first but gradually he started attacking me physically. I was frozen for a second wondering if this is the man I met in the first place. Things appeared to happen as if in a movie and I could not even share my hardships with anybody because I felt very shameful for the decision that I took against my family and my friend. I decided to solve our problems in a mature way. I attempted to talk things through several times when I thought he was in a good mood. But, his mood changed every time I spoke about our issues and he accused me for being characterless.
I wanted to fix things in our life no matter what. I decided to quit from my job. I became a full-time housewife and left no space for him to complain. Things seem to improve a little. But one day he was so mad that I had posted a birthday wish to a past work colleague on social media. He pushed me so hard that I knocked my head on the wardrobe. Least did he bother to the fact that I was bleeding. I had to run by myself to the hospital. I was in pain, but above all I was feeling more shameful and guilty for not standing up for myself. I felt so guilty that I had to lie to the doctor that I hit my head on the pantry while in the kitchen. But then I decided that I could not tolerate any further. I broke the silence and went to my best friend. She guided me through as to how I need to take legal action and also get him to psychological aid. Thanks to her, I am here today... I don't know if I will ever be able to get over this trauma.... but I feel a lot better after putting my pain into words.
Sometimes, love is not enough. True love will never turn out to be toxic and hurt their partner physically or mentally. It would not stop you from chasing your goals and dreams. A huge decision like marriage should be taken very carefully. Little signs of a person's personality traits, behavior or thinking patterns should not be taken lightly or disregarded because of love.
Being assertive for yourself and seeking help should never be delayed. You should not feel ashamed to stand for yourself or seek help. Sometimes, no matter how strong you think you are, you will still need somebody to talk to.
