Just Let Go

Hoping for my dreams to come true were I,

Until one day when he broke the news.

I got to know that he was getting married,

Yes, he told me that'll happen in two weeks.

And two days before the wedding,

He asked me if I would choose his heart.

I said that I've already chosen.

He said that he has no words to say,

And that he found it difficult to mend his heart,

When he has to leave me after being close.

He said he was hurting, so were I.

Heartbroken was I,  for both of us.

We met a little too late, I guess.

And a day later,

He took vows and married another woman.

He asked me to just LET IT GO NOW....

So I did let go

My hopes, dreams and gradually myself....

-Quoted-

Heard Someone Say....

When you don't remember what better feels like anymore. Then you do things that you think would make you feel better, but they actually don't. They sometimes makes the situation worse. The things that you are really scared of doing are probably the things that will help you the most, but you just can't do them. You are probably very tired striving hard to fight these internal demons everyday.

And then those recurring thoughts come up again... You just wonder how they can go about their days , go to sleep at night not caring that they hurt someone, not caring that they traumatized someone, not caring that their actions affected someone.  

However, life really does go on. You have to keep showing up no matter how heartbroken you are. The cycle keeps going. Some days are easy, some days are not. And then you wish that time would stop so that you could have a second to breathe and catch up what's actually going on. Just get back to your real senses, and this very moment.

Trying to balance this messy mindset, you hear someone say this,

You will love again.... the stranger, who was yourself. Give wine, give bread, give back your heart to itself. To the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit and feast on your life. 💛

One Last Time

Friday that week, Ms Sunshine returned to her hometown. It was a tiring day for her as she went home directly after work. She dropped in home at night and before she could sit and rest, she witnessed that Mr. Weird had updated his profile picture just after his homecoming. It was the most beautiful wedding photo she had ever seen. He looked very handsome with his princess in white. He was smiling with his sparkling little eyes. 

The caption caught her eyes immediately, ‘Grow old with me, the best is yet to come’ it said. She was happy for him but devastated for herself as her life was falling apart in front of her eyes. She couldn’t hold herself up anymore. She dropped on the floor and started weeping. Her mom came running not knowing a clue of what had gone wrong. Ms. Sunshine showed her mom that her prince charming whom she was talking about had chosen someone else over her. She did not have the courage to tell her mom that Mr. Weird had chosen his girlfriend as his wife and had played her as his last game before marriage. 

Despite all, she could never hate him, as her enormous love for him overpowered everything. She would only cry, cry and cry, but the pain would not subside. She decided to believe every word said and stay quiet because that would bring peace for all. But she wished that amid all the lies, there was at least a little part of his heart which was genuine towards her. Maybe, he loved her for at least a little moment they spent together, maybe he actually cared for at least a while. Maybe….

-6-

-Quoted-

Healing....

They will leave and act like it never happened. And now you are strangers and you act like you never met them. All of a sudden you were stuck between wanting to see them and wanting to forget them. You'll be hurt, devastated and broken completely, but you'll never allow another woman to feel the same because of you. 

From your closest person to strangers, you parted galaxies away, that you can no longer care even if you wanted to. How do you let go when your heart is still learning to heal? Sometimes, it becomes so difficult to undo the heartache which keeps coming back every now and then.  And when every sunset reminds you of them, you can only do is look up at the sky and sigh. 

You are healing from the things that you didn't deserve and that's okay. Remember, that night? How painful it was, how tired your heart and eyes were? Do you remember how you almost ran out of breathe while crying and how you were struggling to stop making the noise you could make? You thought that you would never heal again, didn't you? All it takes is time and willingness to love yourself with all your heart again. It's still difficult I know. You still cry once in a while and that's okay. But remember.... you never know from one day to the next, what life will bring, whether you'll wake up or not. Enjoy what you have, cherish every moment and be kind to people.

We get hurt differently.

I think, nowadays, people do not think twice before breaking a heart and they don't care at all about what happens after.

People don't realize how words can affect other people. Least do they care about planting false hopes and snatching them away.

I wonder why people wouldn't stop lying just to satisfy their selfish motives while realizing that the other person is about to get hurt badly anytime soon.

This era does not give a damn about how one's actions can impact other people. If you do not intend to love someone do not awaken their love, by your actions, just for your self satisfaction.

Not all people are the same. Each person get hurt differently, they respond to hurt differently. One might just forget in days and move on, some would not recover for months, while others might take a lifetime to heal.

True Love

Do yourself a favor. Stop associating your ability to be a good person with how much you're willing to suffer in silence for others. There are people who can stay in your heart, but not in your life. Because sometimes you have to ignore what you feel and remember what you deserve. One day you'll meet someone who chooses you, and continue to choose you everyday. And that's when you'll be thankful that everything happened the way that it did. 

Don't expect quick intimacy. Find someone to lean into for a lifetime, like how you dreamt it was meant to be. Someone who will hold you through the still days and the hurricanes too. Because anyone can do the honeymoon phase. But true romantics hold for the distant moons and that are deeper and blue. 

There's somebody out there who will treat your heart so soft and so kind. So don't let the fear of being alone trick you into settling for anything less. We sometimes think that real love is a feeling. A feeling that you get when you are with them. We think that it is the longing that you get when you are apart.  We think that it is the look in their eyes, or the things you do for them that make them smile.  Sometimes, giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting that they won't. 

Now, love might be characterized by some of these things but true love is more. True love is a choice. It is when they choose you when you're anxious, when you're happy, when you're lost. It is when they choose you for the rest of their life. When they choose to love you on your best days and your worst.  Remember, you don't complete them and they don't complete you. But you build each other up.

-Quoted-

Way to Our Destiny

There will be times when Life takes us into things we don't understand. Feels like a failure, the door closed, the person walked away, the contract didn't go through. 

You could be down on yourself thinking that 'Damn I was being my best. What did I do wrong....

How do you know that wasn't the spirit leading you out there? 

Some doors are supposed to close. Some people are supposed to walk away. Some opportunities are not supposed to last. 

On the way to our destiny, Life will lead us into a desert experience. Into something that doesn't make sense. And if we let what seems like a failure define us, then, we will miss what Life really has to offer. Maybe there's a Miracle in the making....

-Quoted-