When you don't remember what better feels like anymore. Then you do things that you think would make you feel better, but they actually don't. They sometimes makes the situation worse. The things that you are really scared of doing are probably the things that will help you the most, but you just can't do them. You are probably very tired striving hard to fight these internal demons everyday.
And then those recurring thoughts come up again... You just wonder how they can go about their days , go to sleep at night not caring that they hurt someone, not caring that they traumatized someone, not caring that their actions affected someone.
However, life really does go on. You have to keep showing up no matter how heartbroken you are. The cycle keeps going. Some days are easy, some days are not. And then you wish that time would stop so that you could have a second to breathe and catch up what's actually going on. Just get back to your real senses, and this very moment.
Trying to balance this messy mindset, you hear someone say this,
You will love again.... the stranger, who was yourself. Give wine, give bread, give back your heart to itself. To the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit and feast on your life. 💛
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