Memories that keep alive

Years passed, but Im still here.. where we stopped, trying to figure out whether we made the right decision. I wish I could go back to those days when I had your shoulder to cry on for the mere little things, until my pain poured out and vanished with the tears. I cry now ,all alone, for much bigger things. Matured have I become, you might feel, but the pain does not go away, just keeps coming back to me. There’s no one to pat my head and kiss my forehead and say, it’ll be fine… Im there for you. I wish I was hugged tightly whenever I felt sad, like back then, when I listened to your heartbeat and got lost in your consoling words.I wish I could rest my head on your shoulder and watch the sunset at our favorite place at least once again. I wish I could laugh at your funny jokes and forget all my worries. We’ve literally laughed more than we spoke and those memories itself bring me joy to remember how happy I used to be with you. Those moments remind me how seldom I even laugh now…. I remember like today, how I wanted to back up before saying yes to you and life just threw me thousands of reasons to fall in love with you. I will never come across a man so kind and understanding ever again. Yet, we ‘ve gone too far that we cannot turn back. But those memories of your encouraging words are still enough to keep me going without falling part.